For a few months I had been delighted discovering my new self, the Dominatrix side of me. I never had any doubts as to whether I was a Dom or a Sub but I was incredibly curious to see life from a sub’s perspective. There was also the fact that I had read so many times that to be a good Mistress you really need to be empathetic, know your subs and understand their motivations. This is how I came to think that the best way to understand a sub was to be one. When I talked about it to Joanna, she agreed with me and had the great idea of introducing me to Master Alan, a very good friend of hers.
Master Alan was a gentleman from the very first minute I met him. To be honest I found it difficult to understand how such a caring and loving person could be a sadistic Master. We immediately clicked and he agreed to help me explore my submissive side (if there was one) during that weekend.
My day as a sub girl started with a photo-training session where Master Alan introduced me to the positions a subby girl should adopt in front of her Master. I started very nervous, I didn’t feel at ease kneeling down open legged or always keeping my eyes down, but soon Alan put me at ease and we had a fun time taking photos with some of Joanna’s collection of bondage gear for women. I enjoyed the photo session and all the beautiful leather clothing I was wearing but I couldn’t really get into a sub girl’s frame of mind. Alan understood this and by the end of the photo session, instead of me playing Master’s slave girl, I ended up learning how to properly use my new long leather whip on any future subs.
The weekend went by and we attended a couple of events as Master and slave girl. Alan was a complete sweetheart but I still didn’t like at all being a subby girl. Despite Alan’s gentleness I couldn’t get myself into a sub’s frame of mind. It just wasn’t me. Still I can say that I had a very productive weekend. I learnt a whole lot of new things and I had lots of fun. Probably more important than everything, I learnt that I was really a Dom and I could never be a sub to anyone.
Another very important thing I learnt during those days was that being a Master or a Mistress is not about being cruel and abusive to your subs. A real Dom is someone who cares for her subs and respects them. Master Alan showed me how you could be a gentleman and still be a severe Master. Punishing your subs doesn’t always have to mean physical pain or torture. Punishing a sub can take many different forms and one of them is withholding pleasure, teasing and denial, a form of mind game that I wasn’t aware until then, even if I had done it a few times, only now I came to understand its power.
Me, a Subby girl? Not really….