I am new to bondage but like most people familiar with rope bondage I am still shocked at recent news about someone being killed during a bondage session. As I said, I am new to it, but the first thing I learned about bondage sessions and fetish games in general was safety rules to keep both myself and my play partners safe while having fun.
I had my first bondage experience at the Boat Party in London in 2010. I had seen shibari before several times and I had always been fascinated by it. I had come to see Shibari as a type of art where the person doing the ropes is the artist creating a work of art, a form of life art which is changing all the time at each knot and with each pull of a rope.
My biggest fascination with bondage is suspension bondage. Like ballet dancing, I find it gracefully beautiful when performed, maybe because I know that the performers are in pain or discomfort but enjoy it and still willing to give themselves up for your pleasure. I was so fascinated by rope bondage that as soon as I had the opportunity to be the “ballet dancer in ropes”, I took my chance and even though I am not into submission I agreed to let myself be tied up. It wasn’t an easy thing to do; as soon as I felt the first rope tightening around my cuffs carefully placed on my back I felt helpless, when the ropes reached my breast I thought I was going to suffocate, even though the ropes were not tight around my chest. The more the ropes constricted my movements the more helpless I felt. At that moment I discovered –what I already knew- that as much as I liked it I was not into being restricted. I trusted my Bondage Master, I knew I was safe and that I could end the restriction at any minute, but despite that I couldn’t enjoy being tied up.
After my failed bondage experience I decided to try the other side and learn how to do it myself. As with cracking the whip, Master Allan was the first to volunteer to show me the basics of rope bondage. Equipped with a set of bondage ropes and a willing submissive boy, Allan started my education into rope bondage. The first few knots were easy but then it became more complicated. Trying to learn how to do rope bondage shows you how easy, intense or complicated it can be to play with ropes. It also helps you to appreciate the work of those specialists in the art of Rope Bondage. At first sight you think it is only finding a rope and tying someone up. But that is not true, rope bondage is not only a game but also an art where the performer needs to know not only about his craft of creating and tying knots, but also needs to know at least the basics of anatomy to avoid hurting or permanently damaging his submissive. As we have sadly heard on the news, not knowing the basics can end up in a tragedy. Not being careful enough with the way you tie a rope or not listening to your sub’s needs and cry for help can have fatal consequences.
A few safety tips I have learn with the art of Japanese rope Bondage are:
- Always finish bondage with a safety knot.
- Never tie a rope around the passive’s throat.
- Always have near you a pair of bondage scissors just in case you have an emergency and need to instantly release the passive.
- To avoid the danger of suffocation, always make sure that the passive can breathe easily at all times and never bind someone facing down onto a soft ground (cushion, pillow, soft mattress, etc) as they could easily suffocate without you noticing.
- When tying someone up, make sure that you are not cutting off circulation or over-stretching any muscles. Take special care around the areas where veins can be seen directly beneath the skin. At the first sights of numbness or blue-colouring on the passive, release the pressure and massage the affected area until it comes back to normal.
- Do not try suspension bondage, until you are sure of your skills and your body knowledge. Suspension bondage requires special skills like knowing how to distribute the passive’s body weight and tension equally to avoid fractures or tears in bones and muscles. To play safely you also need special equipment like “panic hooks” when trying suspension bondage.
Remember that Rope Bondage should be fun. Rope Bondage is not meant to hurt the passive permanently. Keep your bondage play both fun and safe.