So I was chatting with my good friend the other day, about the lost age of chivalry.I often find myself standing on a packed tube staring down at a group of men who sit shamelessly in front of me occasionally looking up at me and my shopping bags with casual disdain, and I wonder what went wrong here.
As a Dome I often have the pleasure of a human foot rest, having men massage my feet, fetch my drinks and tend to my every whim in a club, but what happens when the lights come up and the skin tight outfits are exchanged for just casual jeans and a jumper. These same men I am sure would not think twice about barging past a lady in a rush to get that last coveted tube seat or grab that late night taxi at 2am in the middle of West End. It seems that only if a woman is wielding a whip or flaunting her feminine figure in an overtly powerful way does this reach that deeper place in the male psyche where they happily submit and place a woman’s needs first.
Was this always the way? The male sexual impulse connected directly to their sense of decency and care for the fairer gender? Was Mr Darcy a sub because of the way he treated women? (If he was he was most certainly in the sulky brat camp : ) ) With modern women showing more and more aggression and selfish sexual impulses with little regard for men, so then do men feel they have to raise their game , or rather lower it, even more, and in this way both sexes suffer and ultimately lose out.
With this world of equality and women demanding to be treated exactly the same as men in all things, are real gentlemen now forced to enter the BDSM world to show how they care and admire and worship us ladies? Do we now have to carry a whip to ensure men treat us in a way that nature / biology / genetics have programmed us to enjoy and appreciate?
A man is seen to be weak in the modern world if he shows deference or consideration or care towards a woman. A ‘gentle’ man is held in little regard by most corners of society so is it any wonder these urges are kept locked away , hidden, only to be revealed in a BDSM setting, which is only appreciated by a few enlightened ladies, certainly not the majority.
Has something been lost along the way, and do we even realise what that is anymore?
Maybe we as woman are partly to blame, looking to match a man in every capacity from binge drinking, aggressive pushy behaviour and this maybe results in men no longer thinking that chivalrous rules apply, or are even appreciated by women.
There are men of course who still help with prams, or help a struggling lady with a suitcase her own size up a flight of stairs, it’s important not to cling to too broad a generalisation whenever one talks about genders. Humans are more complex than simply falling into two categories and it’s clear that for every human their set of responses will widely differ depending on the mood / circumstances and frame of mind at that point.
I would be interested to see a comparison of say taking the same woman who is provocatively dressed for a day vs. another where she is in casual baggy clothes and little make up. Would that make a difference in how she was treated by men during that day? Would she be treated purely as a sexual creature or would she be treated in a perverse way with more respect, men acting with more chivalry towards her?
What is it in the male submissives mind that flicks that switch between putting ladies superior needs first without complaint, and the same man insisting he watch match of the day rather than that period drama the lady wants to watch? Who from one moment will happily bring her food and drink in one setting but in another instance wouldn’t think twice about starting on the main course in a restaurant whilst she is powdering her nose in the ladies?
Men are perceived as being very simple two dimensional creatures but look a little deeper you will see the same inconsistencies and complexities that the fairer sex has also. The similarities between us far outweigh the differences and its perhaps better for both genders to remember and viva la differences in our outward behaviour to ensure we don’t completely lose our gender identities and end up living in a society that is confused, lost and devoid or values.
And if you see me on a tube and I am standing over you with shopping bags, know that if you don’t get up I will take it out on one of your kind at the next available opportunity…